So my cousin cried today while we were at Target. We were getting a gift for her friend's birthday and she got upset when my aunt wouldn't buy her a new ds game. She complained about how she only had five games which was not a lot compared to her friends and started crying. Now the first thing I thought of was how spoiled she was. She's six years old, SIX, and she's complaining about not having enough video games. When I was six years old I was content with having hand me down dolls to entertain myself with. In any case, I couldn't help but think how sad it was that children of this generation seem to take everything for granted. But that's besides the point.

The whole situation reminded me of something that happened to me in middle school. Back then me and my sister would always have joint birthday parties. Our birthdays were a week apart so my family decided we could save money by simply combining our celebrations. Now, it really wasn't that big of a deal to me. That is, until my twelvth birthday party.

Like normal, we set a date and me and my sister both got to invite our friends to come over. I invited about four or five of my friends and was satisfied. After all, I was turning twelve. What could go wrong? The day of the party came and I was excited. Only three of my friends could come but that was fine with me. As long as I got to celebrate my birthday I would be happy, or so I thought.

The party began and I got a phone call from my closest friend back then. She was sick with the flu and wouldn't be able to make it. I smiled and told her it was quite alright and hoped she would recover soon. Okay, so two friends. That's fine, it didn't matter to me. It was still my party and I would have fun. I think I had gotten so caught up in it being my birthday that I hadn't bothered asking my sister how many people she was inviting over. Perhaps if I had known it would have been less of a shock for me. Well it didn't matter, in any case, because once people started showing up, it was easy to count.

I had two friends show up, Kirsten and Lane. My sister? Well, she practically had half the school over. Well, perhaps not that many, but in comparison to my two friends, she had a lot. I didn't mind at first. I tried to keep my cool. After all, I was glad that at least two of my friends could show up. I did a pretty good job putting on a happy face all night...well, until we got to opening presents that is. Now I'm not a particularly materialistic person. I can live without things, I can. But it was a little different this time. Imagine opening your two small gifts from your friends, thanking them graciously, then spending the next hour watching your sister open the giant pile of gifts from her guests.

Of course, it's not my sister's fault for being well liked, for having a lot of friends, but since when did the jealous mind think rationally? That was, by far, one of the worst birthdays I've ever had. I waited for everyone to leave before running to my room and crying my eyes out. That was the day I realized I really didn't have any friends. Yes, two people did show up, but really, they weren't my friends. They were two girls who called using me for homework friendship.

I think I resented my sister back then. For being able to get along so easily with others. In fact, even now I think she's very good at it. She's a natural with people. She understands the right things to say, the right things to do. But now, instead of hate and jealous, I feel admiration and awe. I try hard to be a social person but I'm not. I've gotten better, yes, but I don't think people realize how hard I try when I meet new people or hang out in a large group. It's funny. I used to be quiet back then. Quiet and depressed. But I changed after that day. The day of my party. I'm still not the super socially adapt person I wish to be but I'm better now. I'm not so quiet anymore and am virtually the opposite of depressed. Most of all though, I learned that one can't compare with others or they'll always been unsatisfied.

So I guess my cousin's situation is totally different from the one I described. Haha but for some reason after she cried I couldn't help but think of it. Weird.